It's Time to Tax the Trillionaires

Sultan Knish

Obama says that it's time to tax the rich. I agree, but while he wants to limit the tax to millionaires and billionaires-- I want to advance it to trillionaires.

Forget Warren Buffett and his secretary and the rest of the small timers, let's look at where the real money is going-- to the trillionaires.Who are the trillionaires? They're the people who spent and spent until we ended up with a 15 trillion dollar deficit. Now it's time to make them pay their fair share.

Politicians, public sector unions, crony capitalists and the rest of the rotten body politic that left us with a debt so big that it can't be repaid without selling an entire state. It's time to make the trillionaires pay.

How do we make them pay. Obama has complained that unless we raise taxes on the rich, there will be no money for Medicare. That's a fair point, so let's tax the trillionaires to recoup the costs. And let's make it a whopping progressive tax too. Forget taxing their take home pay from their non-profits and their dues-- we know that like Buffett and half the cabinet, they just won't pay. Let's tax the taxman instead. Since the money that should have kept Social Security solvent was spent by the trillionaires, it should be taken out of their spending. Forget taxing income-- it's time to tax Federal spending.

Got a new bill that calls for spending 10 billion dollars to make pogo sticks in low income neighborhoods more energy efficient or 400 million dollars in foreign aid to terrorists or 1 million to rum factories in the Cayman Islands (because who the hell knows why)? No problem, just get ready to pay your fair share of the bill first toward the national debt and all other obligations.

Since the trillionaires in the government have lots of money-- let's make this an extremely progressive tax. And let's do Sweden one better by making this a 90 percent tax.

Yes Barry, I know it's hard, but it's only fair-- those who spend more should also have to pay more. It's not class warfare, it's simple math. And the simple math says that the only way to fix budget failures is by taking the money out of the budget. Sure we could hang around waiting for politicians to do the right thing, or we could tax their spending.

It makes no real sense to tax businesses and individuals in a tough economic climate, not when there's less money for everyone-- but in Washington D.C. the spending is still going strong which means they clearly have money to burn. Why burn it on habitats for owls and research projects to study how much television prison inmates can watch without going insane-- when we can put it to better use by covering the government's debts.

It's simple math, we have to make those who spend more money pay their fair share. It's up to the trillionaires in Washington D.C. and their allies around the country to start covering some of the losses. And since the definition of tax is fluid in this administration, call it a penalty or a slow repayment plan.

We can only spend so much time moving money around, using fake spending cuts to pay for separate programs, and then making fake cuts to those programs and claiming that spending cuts have been tripled, even as it's the spending that has actually tripled. No more games, just a 90 percent tax on all Federal spending directed at the deficit and obligations on which the government has threatened to default.

No more games, no more dodges, just pay your fair share... back to the people you stole it from.

Of course an extended repayment program will take time and even with a very progressive tax, the debt will still take years to pay off. But that just calls for the trillionaires to find creative solutions to pitch in. What about the Barney Frank Acapella Choir Sings Jingle Cats or Obama's Inspiring Birthday Greetings (Only Slightly Plagiarized From the Works of Maya Angelou.) There's plenty of ideas out there and most of them are bound to at least earn some money. And they'll need to work hard because that tax also applies to the salaries of Federal employees in decision making positions.

There's no question that we can't go on this way, but the hole problem can't be solved by trying to fill it with shovels. Federal spending dug the hole and adding more shovels by raising taxes will just make a bigger hole. The only way we can fill the hole is if we take away the shovels and start putting the dirt back. That means taxing the spenders, not the earners.

The problem isn't that we don't tax the rich enough, it's that we don't tax the super-rich enough. Taxing the millionaires and billionaires will never raise enough money because the deficit isn't caused by low taxes, it's caused by uncontrolled spending. The only tax that will work is a tax on spending.

Now a tax on spending is the only kind of tax in the world that the progressive party is not on board with-- because it's a tax on them, a tax on their capacity to spend, a tax on the source of their power. The Federal budget amounts to a giant pile of money gathered from all over and then handed out to cronies and supporters. It's a spoils system and a spoiled system and the deficit of trillions testifies to that.

The pile of money is our target because it feeds directly into the deficit, it's why seniors are worried and have good reason to be. What was once set up as a safety net has become a big heaping platter of pork served up to everyone with access to a congressman, a protest sign or a checkbook. The only way out of this mess is by getting hold of that pile of money and taking it out of the hands of the people spending it, and what better way to do that then by using the mechanism that allowed them to create that pile of money in the first place.

Taxing the taxmen has a certain quality of poetic justice to it, but also pragmatism. It cuts up the credit cards of the D.C. establishment, puts them on a budget and them lets them have fun passing all sorts of ridiculous spending bills-- which no matter what is in the bill will go not to the endangered macaws of Alaska, the teacher's unions of Minnesota or forty agencies with their own SWAT teams, but toward repaying the debts they all accrued.

Of course there will be angry protests and lobbyists, but unfortunately the tax on angry protests by people who are paid with tax money during their work hours and the tax on lobbying to spend tax money should let even them do their part to pay down the debt. It's only fair.

The newspapers will editorialize and they are free to do that, so long as they are willing to pay the tax on anyone calling for deficit spending. It's only fair that those who promote spending money should pay their share of the costs of their policies.

Eliminating loopholes like these will help pay down our debts and protect our seniors even quicker, that is why I urge congress to pass this bill. Pass this bill, I say. Our children need it. Our grand-children need it, and our politicians will be locked up in fancy rooms with all the coffee they can drink and free blackberries which will be hooked up to treadmills and the energy of their motion will be used to provide sustainable environmentally friendly power.


Delaying much longer is not an option. Every day that goes by another politician gives a speech and proposes more spending that further inflates the deficit. If we keep this up, no amount of Nancy Pelosi workout tapes and Harry Reid Halloween masks will cover the cost of the money they're spending.

Sure we can take more from the small timers like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett who are eager to pay their share, so long as their share ends up coming out of the Federal budget, as it did with the Oracle of Crony Capitalism's latest fantabulous investment. But why waste our time with mere billionaires, when the trillionaires are waiting?