Unlimited Muslim Entitlement

Sultan Knish

In addition to being exempt from satirical cartoons, airline security procedures and human rights-- the chattering media classes in all their wisdom have decided that Muslims should also be exempt from the laws of economics.

Forget welfare, Muslims are now entitled to media welfare. When normal religions want to put on a show promoting their religion, they build themselves a cable channel. Sadly Bridges TV, the Muslim cable channel dedicated to challenging stereotypes, hating Jews and promoting Islam ran into some trouble when its founder and president beheaded its co-founder, who also happened to be his wife. Muzzammil Hassan, turned out not just to be the president and founder of Bridges TV, but also a member of the Muslim Club for Men, and is now challenging stereotypes about Islam at Clinton Correctional Facility. But TLC stepped into the breach to provide Americans with more of that programming challenging stereotypes about Islam that they never asked for.

All-American Muslim was founded dedicated to the proposition that Muslims are just like the rest of us. They put on their Hijabs one head at a time just like the rest of us and promote wearing them more often than the Geico reptile comes on to sell insurance. After a media blitz for the launch of the series, the Americans, being the Islamophobic bastards that they are, turned the channel to watch something else.

In Orwell's 1984 the television sets were always turned on and only leading party members were allowed to turn down the volume. Sadly for the left that kind of programming is beyond them, though if they could you can bet there would be an Al Gore, Chris Matthews or Stephen Colbert looking back at you through your television.

While the left can't penalize viewers for choosing The Walking Dead over The Jersey Shore Goes Jihad, they can penalize advertisers, as Lowe's Home Improvement is finding out. Muslim groups have decided to play their losing hand by going after the advertisers who jumped ship in search of television shows that have actual viewers.

Mia Farrow and Russell Simmons have called for a boycott of Lowe's until the home improvement giant apologizes for not advertising on a Muslim show with bad ratings. Now that Lowe's has lost Mia Farrow's business it may have to listen, apologize and acknowledge that advertising on failing shows is a new civil right.

Forget the four freedoms, there's now a whole raft of Muslim entitlements at the expense of everyone else's freedom. It's bad enough that you can't show a Muslim terrorist on television or in a movie without CAIR's thugs knocking on your door, but now you're obligated to fund Muslim television programs in the bargain. And don't we already have PBS for that?

Fighting Muslim stereotypes is a worthwhile cause. And the best place to begin is with the bomb belt, the exploding shoes and the burning underpants. Americans don't question the patriotism of the people trying to kill them because of what's on prime time programming, but because of what's on the news.

Judge Judy's famous catchphrase is, "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining." The equivalent of that is "Don't shoot me in the head while shouting Allah Akbar and tell me it's workplace violence." Technically Major Hasan showing up on base and gunning down American soldiers was violence that took place at work. The same could be said of Muzzammil Hassan, aka Hassan Chop, who killed his wife on location at a cable channel dedicated to showing the moderate side of Islam. Or of the undocumented pilots who flew planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon in a truly regrettable incident of workplace violence that had nothing to do with Islam.

But instead of changing their reality, Muslim advocates would rather ply us with fiction. The Arabian Nights began with the story of a feminist Muslim king who married virgins and then had them killed the next day and the woman who kept plying him with stories until he decided to spare her life. In the United States, Muslims are determined to play both Scheherazade and the King, telling us fanciful stories until they get around to chopping our heads off. And we're expected to keep retelling them to ourselves so we can go blindly into the abattoir when the time comes, and also to foot the bill.

In the movie Brazil, people were expected to foot the bill for being tortured. All-American Muslim wants to torture viewers with its insipidly malicious programming and then have them pay for the privilege next time they're shopping for a piece of plywood. Shouldn't there be some kind of limit to this kind of thing?

We're already groping senior citizens so that we don't offend a Hassan or two, burning a Koran is now a worse crime than torching the flag and all public figures are contractually obligated to sing the praises of Islam after every terrorist attack. But isn't there a limit somewhere to Muslim entitlement or does it go on forever until we're all sitting in front of televisions airing back to back episodes of All-American Muslim that can't be turned off?

In Australia, the authorities have debuted the Muslim Emergency Management Plan, which contrary to common sense is not an emergency plan for managing Muslims, it's an emergency plan for dealing with anti-Muslim incidents in the aftermath of a terrorist attack.

The plan devised by the Islamic Council of Victoria and funded by the Department of Premier and Cabinet's Office of Multicultural Affairs and Citizenship, a name that is almost as diverse in words as in people, will see to it that should a patriotic Australian citizen named Hassan blow himself up on the Route 966 bus, and if in the aftermath of that unfortunate bit of workplace violence some anti-multicultural lout tells a Muslim woman to go home, the minions of the Islamic Council of Victoria and their affiliated law enforcement contacts will have an emergency plan for dealing with the situation, whether it's long-term imprisonment, rehabilitation or subjecting them to the full run of All-Australian Muslim.

Consider that while the bodies are being scraped off the sidewalk after an act of violence that Muslim groups have no shame at all about anticipating as inevitable, police will be expected to swiftly hunt down anyone who gives a Muslim the stinkeye. Law enforcement is told that this is the best way to fight terror by winning the hearts and minds of all the Hassans who when they see Albert dragged in on a charge of Muslim Glaring in the First Degree will surely break out in a spontaneous burst of Advance Australia Fair.

But is pandering to Muslim entitlement really the way to check terror? The West has already given Islam extensive and elaborate privileges, beginning with an unquestioned status, the censorship of any offending material and the constant sycophancy of elected officials. Now that we have also decided that Muslim television shows must remain on the air and must be paid for by American companies, no matter how poorly they perform, will Hassan chop and bomb less? Or will he bomb more?

We have completely given up on getting Muslims to take responsibility for their own behavior. Like the parents of a spoiled brat who are secretly terrified of him, we praise them to the skies and crack down on anyone who might say otherwise. No one may speak ill of the little monster no matter how many vases he breaks, how many girls he rapes and how many people he kills. This self-esteem clinic that we've been running has only one purpose, and it's the same one as the spoiled brat's parents. Denial.

Muslims terrorize our governments. Our governments terrorize us. And we turn on the television to be greeted by the latest effort of our chattering classes to educate us of our irrational fear of the people trying to kill us. Feeling guilty, even though we have nothing to feel guilty about, we watch it for a few minutes and then try to turn it off, but it won't shut off. It's on every channel. And then the news finally comes on. The president is attending an Eid dinner, the Islamic council wants to let everyone know about the local mosques in their area and there's been another unfortunate incident of workplace violence involving some All-American Muslim.