Steven Plaut
As you know, a third of the entire faculty at the University of Haifa
signed a statement denouncing their own university for denying an honorary PhD
to Nobelist Prof. Robert Aumann because the University officials dislike his
personal political opinions, which tend towards the non-PC. Aside from
those signing, a minority of Haifa University faculty members from the
Ultra-Left have been swamping the chat lists and the media with their own
explanations of why Aumann was undeserving of the honor. After all, he
holds opinions that they regard as unenlightened and bigoted. They have
also been making mega noise inside the University.
You humble curmudgeon posted the following message to the entire
University today to shut these varmints up:
*********************
Anyone
who really think that they understand American culture will be familiar with the
great commentator Jeff Foxworthy. He is from the Deep South, and has built
a career on making clever one-liners poking fun at those from his world.
He is best known for his comedy shticks based on the refrain, "Then you just
might be a redneck." For
example, if you have 24 pickup trucks and none of them work, then you just might be a redneck. That sort of thing.
example, if you have 24 pickup trucks and none of them work, then you just might be a redneck. That sort of thing.
Well,
I think Jeff Foxworthy should be officially invited to and hosted by the
University of Haifa. In fact, he should be granted an honorary PhD.
And while he receives it, he could do a performance based on a slight alteration
of his best-known shtick. It would be a commentary on those people
"who just might be Israeli leftwing fascists."
Here
are some samples from his upcoming performance:
1.
If you think that Prof. Robert Aumann is insufficiently enlightened or ethical
to get an honorary PhD at the University of of Haifa but Shulamit Aloni was
decidedly entitled to one, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist.
2.
If you think that it is the purpose of institutions of higher learning to
indoctrinate students into correct radical leftist ideology, then you just might
be an Israeli leftwing fascist.
3.
If Haaretz represents your idea of balanced pluralism and diversity of ides,
then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist.
4.
If you think that non-leftists should be denied freedom of expression because
they hold incorrect opinions, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist. If you signed that petition against allowing Colonel Pnina
Sharbit Baruch to teach at Tel Aviv University, there is no doubt
left.
5.
If you think books containing opinions you consider to be bigoted or ignorant
should be burned, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist.
6.
If you think everyone who disagrees with the radical Left is a fascist, then it
is pretty clear that you are an Israeli leftwing fascist.
7.
If you consider Im Tirtzu to be a fascist organization, then there is no doubt
that you are an Israeli leftwing fascist.
8.
If you consider Zeev Sternhell, Shlomo Sand, Rivka Feldhay, and Oren Yiftachel
to be serious scholars and academics, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist.
9.
If you claim that Ariella Azoulay was turned down for tenure at Bar Ilan because
of her political opinions, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist.
10.
If you claim that Yitzhak Rabin was murdered because of the exercise of freedom
of speech by non-leftists, and so it must be suppressed as a clear and present
danger, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist.
11.
If you think it is racist when some rabbis call for people not to rent property
to Arabs, but it is a progressive gesture for peace and tolerance to demand that
property not be rented or sold to Jews in Sheikh Jarrah and Silwan because Jews
do not belong there, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist.
12.
If you think Israel is an apartheid regime, then you just might be an Israeli
leftwing fascist.
13.
If you think that rabbis calling for people not to rent property to Arabs
is racist, but Sheikh Salah's rant at the University of Haifa calling for Arab
students to become suicide bombers was not, then you just might be an Israeli
leftwing fascist.
14.
If you think that international pressure on Israel to make peace by
accepting terms rejected by the majority of Israelis is necessary and valuable,
then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist.
15.
If you think that students displaying posters and tee shirts with images of
Abdul Nasser, Che Guevara, and bin Laden is legitimate protest but Im Tirtzu
students wearing tee shirts with images of Herzl is fascism, then you just might
be an Israeli leftwing fascist.
16.
If you think that faculty members should have the right to cheer on terrorism
against Jews, to call for Israel's obliteration, to support lawbreaking, to call
for international boycotts against Israel, and to call for Israelis to refuse to
serve in the military, while at the same time you consider anyone who CRITICIZES
those same faculty members for doing those things to be "McCarthyists,"
then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist.
17.
If you think Ami Ayalon is a centrist and should have the power to decide what
is an acceptable opinion for an academic to hold, then you just might be an
Israeli leftwing fascist.
18.
If you deny that Noam Chomsky's endorsements of Holocaust Deniers are
anti-Semitism, or claim that Chomsky never served as the apologist for the Khmer
Rouge, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist.
19.
If you think it is fascist to criticize the New Israel Fund and its
officers, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist.
20.
If you think Israel owes Turkey an "apology" for its takeover of the Gaza
flotilla ships, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist.
21.
If you see nothing wrong with the Department of Politics at Ben Gurion
University serving as a monolithic anti-Israel propaganda and indoctrination
center, and if you believe that the international panel of experts calling for
shutting it down altogether were fascists, then you just might be an Israeli
leftwing fascist.
22.
If you think shooting terrorists constitutes "war crimes," then you just
might be an Israeli leftwing fascist.
23.
If you believe that the only legitimate way for Israel to defend its
citizens against terrorism is to capitulate to the demands of the terrorists,
then you just might be an Israeli leftwing fascist.
24.
If you find it perfectly reasonable when the heads of the Palestinian
Authority insist that no Jews be allowed to live in any future Palestinian state
but consider it racism when Lieberman proposes transferring control of Umm
al-Fahm to the PA, then you just might be an Israeli leftwing
fascist.
25.
If you insist that there are no lessons to be learned from the 10,000
rockets fired at Israel after Israel abandoned the Gaza Strip, then you just
might be an Israeli leftwing fascist.
26.
If you see nothing objectionable when people in Ramat Aviv demand that
Chabadniks and other Orthodox be kept out, but are horrified when residents of
Shchunat Hatikva object to the presence of illegal Africans, then you just might
be an Israeli leftwing fascist.
27.
If you claim that Israel conducts ethnic cleansing or genocide, then it is
certain that are an Israeli leftwing fascist
28.
If you think the University of Haifa should have a Christmas tree, but
that Jews should be prevented from praying on the Temple Mount, then you just
might be an Israeli leftwing fascist.
29.
If you endorse the international BDS warfare aggression against Israel and its
institutions, then we all know what you are.
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