Sultan Knish
It's unfair to expect Obama to do anything about Ukraine when his
biggest priority is convincing twenty-somethings to buy worthless health
insurance policies by appearing on online comedy shows and deploying
his March Madness bracket.
The
Obama Twitter feeds are filled with desperate pleas to buy ObamaCare;
harnessing every memeworthy bit of internet detritus from cat pictures
to twerking in the hopes of convincing healthy young people who don't
want health insurance to buy it anyway.
On March 17th, Obama's
Twitter linked to a statement on Ukraine and then it was back to
"There's only 14 days to get coverage." It's currently down to 12 days.
It's like holiday shopping, but with a $6,000 deductible.http://sultanknish.blogspot.com/2014/03/a-tale-of-two-centuries.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+FromNyToIsraelSultanRevealsTheStoriesBehindTheNews+%28from+NY+to+Israel+Sultan+Reveals+The+Stories+Behind+the+News%29
Senator
Chris Murphy (D-Conn) went to Ukraine, called Russia's invasion a
"weak" and "panicky" reaction to Obama's strength, and then announced
plans to speak about the "Between Two Ferns Effect". The "effect" is the
sheer awesomeness of Obama's appearance on an internet comedy show to
promote ObamaCare.
It's that kind of 21st century thinking that
sets Barack apart from Vladimir's quaint 19th century hunger for
territory. While a former KGB agent wastes time conquering countries, a
former community organizer focuses on selling nationalized health care
to young invincibles through a website that works about as well as a
Soviet Yugo.
Putin's power rests on a shaky energy industry, but
Obama's power rests on ObamaCare. Kerry scoffed at Russia's invasion as
so 19th century. In the 21st century, power doesn't come from land or
armies, but from online popularity. Online popularity took a radical
Illinois State Senator and turned him into a world leader. Online
popularity is the WMD that the State Senator is convinced will save
ObamaCare.
Putin has a weakness for staged photo ops circulated
over the internet, but they are more like Kaiser Wilhelm II chopping
pre-cut logs while yearning for the return of the German monarchy than
Obama's self-deprecating attempts to be all things to all people. The
Russian government has no use for irony; it leaves such things to the
opposition. In the post-modern America, leaders claim absolute power
while making self-deprecating jokes. They discard the rule of law and
then hawk nationalized healthcare in infomercials for an effect more
surreal than a crony capitalist KGB man with a law degree taking off his
tailored suit and $500,000 Tourbograph watch to play Great White
Hunter.
Putin poses on horseback, in a wetsuit, in a hang
glider, finding ancient urns in the sea or shooting tigers. Obama poses
playing with a lightsaber, makes an unimpressed face with McKayla
Maroney and unveils his March Madness picks. The Russian dictator
strikes heroic poses straight out of the 19th century, while Obama
struggles to hold the unstable attention span of 21st century
millennials . Obama's poses are no less absurd than Putin's, but they
are self-consciously absurd. Putin is playing the part of the great
leader, while Obama disguises the enormous power he wields by acting
more like Ellen; a talk show host endlessly cracking jokes and posing
for goofy selfies.
It's easy to laugh at Putin's posturing, but
Obama's public image is no less cynical. Both men are instinctive
totalitarians with backgrounds in Marxism and little respect for the
rule of law. Obama is a creature of a more modern media age catering to a
demographic which prides itself on skepticism, at least where Western
religion or nationalism are concerned, while being as gullible as any of
the old ladies clutching red portraits of Stalin in Simferopol when it
comes to the progressive agenda.
The difference between the two
centuries and the two men is a matter of misdirection. Putin enhances
the public perception of his power while Obama downplays it. Putin's
base likes their red meat raw while Obama's base prefers a soy burger
that looks and tastes exactly like meat so that they can have an ersatz
imitation of the real thing that preserves their moral superiority.
Putin's base values strength while Obama's base waters down their abuses
of power with the appearance of cleverness and humor.
Obama
delivers Putin's totalitarianism in soy form. It looks a lot like a
burger, but it's really just an Asian legume. It looks a lot like
tyranny, but it falls apart when confronting an actual tyrant. It's easy
to raid guitar factories, lock up anti-Muslim filmmakers and send the
IRS after political opponents, but that sort of pettiness is an ordinary
day in Russia which just banned lacy underwear. The EPA, USDA and even
the IRS are no match for Russian teenagers packing those dreaded assault
rifles.
Obama's Mean Girls strategy for Putin is to make him
unpopular. The various White House responses talk of isolating Russia.
But Obama needs Russia to isolate Iran. He needs China to isolate Russia
which will become inconvenient when China starts a shooting war with
Japan. Obama can't isolate everyone. He can't isolate anyone. He has
just now gotten around to kicking Syria out of the US after Russia and
China prevented him from isolating Assad.
The
Hills and Big Brother are poor models for international diplomacy.
While Obama is figuring out how to convince Russia to stop talking to
Iran and China to stop talking to Russia and everyone to stop talking to
North Korea, these countries are moving their own agendas forward by
doing things, instead of by tweeting them.
The social network
strategy for Russia will work about as well as it did for Syria or for
ObamaCare. In the postmodern 21st century, Twitter mobs can destroy the
lives of individuals who make racist jokes, but they're no match for a
conquering army. The Facebook nerds who steal elections, the Twitter
social justice activists who spread privilege checking hashtags, the
Tumblr diarists who churn out memes about microaggressions are as
useless as their leader.
Progressive nerd bullies are as vicious
online as they are impotent in real life. Obama's plan to make Putin
unpopular while he gobbles up countries isn't a brilliant show of
strength; it's a passive aggressive display from the cyclist-in-chief
who excels at putdowns, not at takedowns.
The left has been
getting its own way for so long that it has forgotten that the Colbert
Report isn't real life, that snide remarks are no substitute for
strength and that there are some men who are not afraid of being mocked
by Saturday Night Live.
The 21st century post-modern power that
the left puts so much into isn't an evolution, but a devolution. It's a
collapsing civilization's response to its own decline. The ironic poses
of our post-modern dictators are a distancing effect for a culture that
suspects sincerity but takes humorous denials at face value. The more
indirect the path between motive, assertion and action, the more
self-aware the modern totalitarian politician must be. And it is this
show of self-awareness that is prized above all else including
integrity, ethics and truth.
Romney was so despised because he
was monotone, a black and white figure who said what he meant instead of
layering it through infinite levels of irony. The age of the
counterculture would have considered him a square. The grandchildren of
that age saw him as equally unhip for his sincerity. The post-modern
politician is serious by being unserious, he navigates deftly between
jokes, personal narrative and the core message. He sells a brand, rather
than a policy. An identity rather than an idea.
21st century
branding is obsessed with the deft positioning of images and causes, but
its practitioners are unable to apply the deft hijacking of memes to
sell health insurance to the equally deft maneuverings of armored
vehicles and armed men in Crimea. They have become social media shut
ins, expert at navigating the narrow bubbles of online and offline
elitist social networks, but blink in confusion when they are pulled
away from the computer long enough to see lines of troops moving into
another country.
The men and women in charge of our countries
understand how to smear and to demean, how to build Twitter followers
and tell self-deprecating jokes. They can't build a website, but they
consider actually making things beneath them. They are critics of the
culture, social justice commentators, public intellectuals who can make
anything into propaganda, but can't hammer a nail into a board.
They
treat every problem like an online debate. They assemble allies, pile
on enemies, troll the opposition and then declare victory. But winning a
debate doesn't make the tanks go away.
"The world has seen
through Russia’s actions and has rejected the flawed logic behind those
actions,” Joe Biden declared. That might be a winning line in a Facebook
debate, but it doesn't do anything to move Russian forces out of
Ukrainian cities.
Accusations of flawed logic, spell checks and
saying, "You said literally when you meant figuratively" will not move a
single piece of Russian armor out of Crimea.
Making Putin
unpopular, a task already accomplished when he joined the organizers of
the St. Patrick's Day parade and the Boy Scouts in refusing to jump on
the gay rights bandwagon, is an impotent display of postmodern soft
power. Meanwhile the failure to stop Putin will make him more popular in
the places that truly matter, where no one buys ObamaCare and no one is
impressed by accusations of flawed logic.
Putin
has demonstrated to Iran, North Korea, Venezuela, Syria and China that
America is weak, that it has become a nation living inside its own
imagination, and he has shown Eastern Europe and the rest of the world
that America is a bad friend while Russia is a dangerous enemy.
Obama's
21st century world is an imaginary place whose virtual territories
depend on real infrastructure and energy. Underneath the glittering
cities in the sky where everyone is part of a virtual community are the
real roads and cities of stone and steel that can be taken by anyone
with enough men and determination to capture them.
The Facebook
strategy can sell health insurance, but it can't make ObamaCare
financially viable. It can sneer at Putin, but it can't do anything to
change the real world equations. The left has confused the overlay, its
commentaries and memes, for reality. It has come to believe that The
Daily Show is real news, that Obama is a real leader and that a Twitter
hashtag is real power.
The Russian soldiers in Crimea are a
reminder that, as Mao said, "Every Communist must grasp the truth:
Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun." The Western left has
forgotten the simple truth that no Eastern leftist has ever become
decadent enough to forget. Power does not come from the "Two Ferns
Effect" of self-deprecating irony, but from the Russian guns in Crimea.
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