Published September 10, 2013
FoxNews.com
I
once married a Muslim "man of color" and assumed, unthinkingly that, as
an outsider himself, he might somehow identify with and make common
cause
with women.
I found that this misguided assumption was untrue and, in my new book, "An
American Bride in Kabul,
"
I write about my unsentimental education in such matters, an education
which took place both in America and in Afghanistan long ago.
"
I write about my unsentimental education in such matters, an education
which took place both in America and in Afghanistan long ago.
I
had also once assumed that all formerly colonized peoples and Third
World impoverished countries were filled with naturally noble
inhabitants
who were instinctively spiritual and kind to each other.
I
quickly discovered that barbarism is indigenous to such regions, and
that tribal and religious wars, the most profound misogyny, cruelty, and
corruption were accepted asnormal." It was only a crime to criticize
such practices.
I learned long ago that belonging to a particular gender, race, class, religion, or sexual preference tells us nothing about how
a particular person might think or behave.
Nevertheless, I became a proud member of the 1960s non-violent Civil Rights movement.
Thus,
as an ardent anti-racist, I must deplore the
racialization/Balkanization of identity and the valorization of victim
status that has come to
characterize the contemporary American academy and electoral politics.
Not
every victim transcends their ordeal. Many inflict upon others (or upon
themselves) precisely what was done to them and they do so over and
over again. Not all victims are heroes; some are.
I
learned long ago that belonging to a particular gender, race, class,
religion, or sexual preference tells us nothing about how a particular
person
might think or behave.
Women
can be cruel, men can be compassionate (and vice versa of course);
people of color, those who share the same religion, and gay people,
routinely
exploit, scapegoat, and are prejudiced towards others like themselves.
They have internalized the same sexist, xenophobic, and racist beliefs
as everyone else.
At
first, I did not believe this was possible but it has become very clear
that like some heterosexual men, lesbians sometimes batter their
partners.
Lesbian custody battles are sometimes very bitter. Imagine two women
fighting over who will remain their child's mother. Even Solomon would
not be able to solve this.
In
terms of religion, the greatest and most murderous violence against
Muslims in the world, is at the hands of other Muslims; the Sunni-Shia
religious
wars have been raging since the 7th century and they rage on
today all across the Islamic world. Thus, being a Muslim is no
guarantee that other Muslims will "privilege" you as opposed to murder
you.
As the saying goes, one really cannot judge a book by its cover -- which brings me to the subject of race in American politics.
Why did some people vote for President Obama? The answer: He is a man who looks black and who ran a cool and charismatic game.
White
America was atoning for the sin of institutionalized slavery; the fact
that we are the only country that fought and won a bloody Civil War
on this very issue was irrelevant, insufficient.
Now, we had finally elected our first black/African-American President.
But had we, really?
Obama's
mother and the maternal grandparents who helped raise him were white,
Caucasian. This did not matter. We judged him solely by his appearance
and his considerable Ivy League charm, and not by his record--he had
none.
As
I read his autobiography, "Dreams From My Father," I became
increasingly outraged by how little he mentioned his mother or
grandparents and how
much he magnified the role of his totally absent, alcoholic,
wife-beating Kenyan father.
As
a feminist, and a mother, I felt tremendously sorry for his mother who,
although she herself had chosen a series of men of color as husbands
and lovers, did not seem to merit much love or loyalty from her son.
Electing
a good-looking "symbol" is not the same as electing the best candidate
for the job. And lately, America has not had many stellar presidential
candidates.
Now,
we in New York City are expected to elect a mayor because his wife is
African-American and their son looks totally black (just like President
Obama). Bill de Blasio is using his 15-year-old son Dante in an ad to
show and tell that de Blasio deserves both the black and the progressive
vote because he married a black woman and has a son who looks all-black
and who sports a very 60's style Afro.
No one should vote for de Blasio for this reason -- or for Bill Thompson merely because he is a black man.
Check out their records.
I
will not vote for someone merely because she is a woman. I want to know
where she stands on the issues, beginning with foreign policy and the
economy as well as where she stands on women's issues.
I want to know the same things about any male candidate.
As
the author of "Woman's Inhumanity to Woman," I know that women lawyers,
judges, corporate executives, physicians, social workers, and
professors
can be very anti-woman. Prosecutors often do not want women on the jury
when a rapist is being tried; they tend to disbelieve the victim and
feel compassion for the alleged rapist.
Gender,
race, religion, and sexual preference are not necessarily forms of
victimization and we should not be voting for "victims" as a way of
atoning
for their suffering or for our prejudice.
Phyllis Chesler, Ph.D is the author of fourteen books including "Women
and Madness" and "The New Anti-Semitism." Her new book, "An American Bride in Kabul"
(Palgrave-Macmillan 2013) may be ordered here. Dr. Chesler may be reached through her website at:
www.phyllis-chesler.com.
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